SarahJanet's Books

The Kitchen God's Wife

This was our book club pick for this month, and although I didn't pick it up until Tuesday, I actually managed to read the entire book AND go to book club, which was a nice change.

As I said at the meeting, it's unusual for me to read books that are generally outside of my own cultural experiences, and that's a major (though I suspect not uncommon) flaw in my reading habits. This book is one woman's experiences in China during World War II, as told to her daughter many years afterwards. While I have read a lot of fiction about World War II, I didn't ever read anything from a non-Western standpoint, and it was quite apparent to me that I'd left a major gap in my knowledge by doing so.

That was a really badly written paragraph. Helllooooo, brain.

Despite my unfamiliarity with the content and the culture, I found this book really easy to read. The characters in it were appealing in a frustrating kind of way - nobody in the entire book really seemed like somebody I'd want to spend a lot of time with, but they all had stories to tell that made them absolutely fascinating to read about.

What really stood out for me is how easy it is to take for granted the lifestyle we lead here. Not just in North America, although obviously living in a first world country is a huge part of that, but as women. I honestly cannot fathom being forced into an arranged marriage as an 18 year old, and Wen Fu, her first husband, was such a despicable character that I honestly cannot come up with a single redeeming characteristic. I was wincing repeatedly when I was reading the stuff that he did, and the idea of being forced into a marriage like that with no choice is just mind-blowing.

This is not very articulate, nor is it terribly accurate, because it's not like there aren't still women all over the world, including, I'm sure, some in North America, being forced into arranged marriages. And I'm painfully aware of the horrible marriages that women stay in because they simply do not know any better. But from my incredibly luxurious position in life, I simply cannot imagine being in that position. I can't imagine living that life. Which, I suppose, is a good thing. But it's good for me, I think, to read books like this that remind me how lucky I am.

I was particularly fond of the relationship between Wei-Wei and Hulan, because it managed to capture that sisterly relationship between two women extremely well, in a way that made you understand exactly why they drove each other crazy, but still see and know why they remained so close.

This book was heartbreaking, eye-opening, and remarkably cross-cultural for a book set in such a specific culture. We were talking at book club (although we could have talked about the book a lot more, alas - we were once again easily distracted from the subject) about how despite the very Chinese nature of the book, there were elements of it that were just very very mother-daughter, no matter what the culture.

Which, I suppose, is just the measure of a good writer.

Next month's book club: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which I've already read but am happy to reread. (I've already seen the movie, too, because I'm a big geek.) Then Bel Canto, which I've been meaning to read.

And, I have to say, although it's been a bit bumpy, I'm very impressed that we've kept book club going as long as we have. The first book club I tried to start was a total bust, so I'm delighted that this one seems to have stuck. Even when we don't have lengthy discussions about the book, the conversation is always good, and it's awesome to have an excuse to see people that I don't otherwise often see.

posted by SarahJanet @ 9:55 PM